Ugh. It's that old feeling back again.
Admittedly, I am running on less sleep again. But it causes me to reflect if my home is at fault for my feelings? Today I have a harder time puzzling though the question. Just as our homes impact us, they also reflect us. I can agree on a middle ground: My home proves me opportunity to explore how clutter affects me, affects my emotions and my thoughts. And, man, my subconscious thoughts can get me spinning on all kinds of habitual hamster wheels to no useful purpose.
I find I can really let the house walls constrain me, really let my thoughts about what is contained within it then restrict me.
What were they saying? "It's not done... There's not enough time... If it looks like this, then I'm not enough... I need that thing to fix this... If I were a good parent I'd..." Basically, lack.
Recently someone said that it isn't necessary to have all good thoughts. (Sometimes we worry about it, don't we?) The mind's job is to think thoughts, and for most of us, that's what it does - with rare pause. But if we cut ourselves some slack, a more useful and self-loving approach is to become purposeful in which thoughts we encourage.
So in the face of my monkey mind walls, I... opened the wall and walked outside. Literally. Um, well, in the usual through-the-door way.
In the face of my feelings of limitation and inadequacy, nature buoys me up and restores me.
The fresh air, the cool fall temperatures, the changing leaves. The clouds sprinkled rain and then the sun came out. Peace. One of those reminders - this is one of those Tools for the Journey.
So let's pick up again and keep on with the work. After all, it's time to get the mail.
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