Clutter, Love, and Giving Gifts

The kids and I went to the zoo today, and my daughter glommed on to an umbrella on a souvenir stand as we were leaving. She liked the frog one, and with some minor negotiating, she proudly headed home with her first umbrella, which she was so excited to show to her daddy when he arrived home from work.

Let me just say that my husband's face was not as excited as hers. And I could see the subtext... "Yet another toy for her? Don't we have enough stuff?"

It was a good moment to cause me to reflect on how things arrive in our house. I mean, I had meant well, hadn't I? I could also come up with a list of legitimate reasons why it wasn't a bad purchase:

• New vs. Waste Factor: She didn't have an umbrella and had never had one. This wasn't a duplicate of something we already had or a replacement for something that basically worked.
• Education / Learning Opportunity: She was now old enough to have something that had more rules around how to use it safely for herself and other people.
• Function: Umbrellas are useful things; this wasn't another stuffed animal. It was a tool, and this was designed for kids so it was easy to hold and to open and close.
• Immediate Usefulness: The weather forecast has a reasonable chance of rain for the next 5 days.
• Bonding: It would be so much fun to go out and splash around in the rain puddles together, and this would be a great way to convince her how fun it would be.
• So Cute: I can't help it (or it's hard to) - she's so darn cute, and to see her in her little raincoat with this fun umbrella would be a darling picture!

In truth it was a weak moment for me... I had been pulling out all the stops to get her to leave the zoo since she was tired but we had to walk a ways to the car without a stroller, so the opportunity to create some happiness was selfishly beneficial so we could make it without having to carry both kids and all our stuff. (Why didn't I have a stroller? Or better yet, why did I have so much stuff with me? Well, now, that will have to be another post!) And in defense of my husband, this wasn't the first time our daughter had something new from an outing she and I took.

So what was going on here?

I think I did feel that a little something to "make it special" made sense because going to the zoo is special for us - we really don't go very often. Did she need a thing to make it special? No, she really didn't.

I think too that I am looking for ways to make her happy... our lives right now can feel rather harried, so seeing that smile on her face at the end of the trip made me feel good too. She certainly had fun just being at the zoo (I can remember several specific moments this trip), but maybe I took the easy route.

But beyond that, I remember walking in the rain with my umbrella as a kid, and splashing in the puddles... the cool, moist air on my face, the wonderful smell of rain on the ground. Those are really wonderful memories, and I want her to have that too. And I'd really like to share that with her.

We can have so many different relationships to our things... and it's very likely that in the time that we own a thing, our relationship to it can change. For my part, I'm going to try to make sure that what I do bring into the house gets a chance to serve its intended purpose, preferably in short order, and then with regular awareness of how things are changing, I'm going to let go when it is no longer needed.

That being said, I really hope we get some rain. :)